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Chapter 3 of Lex's Latest Great Plan
"The dim red glow breaks through the dank darkness of the cavern. It slowly grows brighter, stronger, and menacing. The silence is shattered by the din of machinery. The clicking becomes maddening, then a shadow of light begins to intensify beneath the now piercing red glow of eye sockets. A sudden bang and
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all is suddenly quiet and the glow ceases to illuminate its surroundings. Quickly I realize that a certain crackhead forgot the OIL. Once again my genius is usurped by a moron - ASSHOLES DOTH VEX ME." No matter to Lex a quick trip back to the drawing board and his creature is nearly ready again, soon he will release his beautiful monstrosity on the unsuspecting denizens of Metropolis.
There are doubters, especially in the underworld, as Lex sets his plans in motion others plot to takeover his empire when Superman catches him. This is where Lex really shines. He has a strong understanding of culpable deniability and knows that his henchmen are the ones who will spend time in jail if they screw up. This time he uses Crackhead Bob to infiltrate the seedy underbelly of New Yorks drug riddled entertainment industry. A little cocaine here and little ganja for some Jamaican security guards and Lex has the run of 30 Rockefeller Plaza. First the robotic Rob Thomas must be secured in the building 1 full week ahead of when he is needed. On the night of November 15th Lois Lane and
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Clark Kent will attend a SOLD-OUT Saturday Night Live performance. Lex has arranged for these two nosy reporters to interview Rob about his new line of Nail Polish. What they dont know is that they will be meeting Lex's robot instead of the real Rob Thomas. The real band will of course be in no danger due to the assistance of Crash Bandicoot. Crash will be paid a great sum of money to delay the band while the robot is being interviewed
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The robot will tell them that he is nervous about tonights performance and ask them if they could rub his tummy for good luck. The robot has been programmed to be very convincing including tears if needed. To see what is waiting for Clark when he gets near Rob's midsection place your mouse cursor over the picture of Rob
Once this occurs Clark should quickly develop a serious headache and it is doubtful he would stay. Within hours Clark/Superman will begin a delusional one-way trip to total insanity. Lois will wonder where Clark has gone and may even miss him. In time she will believe he simply ran off without her. This is when Lex moves in for the main prize. For the ensuing wedding between Lex and Lois (it even sounds nicer than Superman and Lois or even Clark and Lois!) Lex will be giving Lois a ten carat diamond ring and that nite they will jet off to the South Seas for an extended Honeymoon. It was originally planned to be forever but Lex may be needed here in the Largest Metropolitan City on the face of the Earth. You see crime never rests and the greatest at anything needs to work hard to stay on top of their craft.
Lex still has plans for after his honeymoon , wait let Lex tell it - "Once my creation has disposed of him like the insignificant red-caped freak he is I can annouce myself to the world through a brilliant media blitz. You know, not enough underworld figures ever bother setting up a good media blitz with a top notch PR group. If you blitz them they will fall - inline that is. Look at this band that will be assisting me in my greatest triumph - hitting every media outlet that they can from coast to coast and from top to bottom. This is what has them well on the way to being household names. SO stay tuned for you will soon live in LEX WORLD (formerly known as earth) where by the way Matchbox would get their whole album played on the airwaves and not just a few times. Perhaps I could issue a decree to radio stations telling them to only play this 1 album in its entirety."
Read Chapter 4 for the Real End