Chapter 1 of Lex's Latest Great Plan
As a great criminal mastermind Lex's plans must be on a grand scale. Nothing short of world domination would be adequate. Lex has had many great schemes that would have worked if not for the meddling of the immortal superturd. Other problems have plagued Lex over the years, for example, his henchman have always been bumbling fools. These intellectual miscreants were never worthy of even being in the presence of a mastermind of Lex's intellectual ilk. Unfortunately, good help is hard to find, especially if the help is required to carry out nefarious activities (this has been a recurring theme in my life and my work).
Lex even tried hiring relatives on one occasion and this turned out worse than some moronic thug off a street corner. The last plan had Lex's nephew Jake totally screw up his attempt to take over all of China. At a crucial moment Jake snuck away from his post to take his pet snake Fifi for a walk. Two minutes after Jake slithered out the door a teletype message came in stating that Chairman Mao had died. Since Jake was gone Lex did not get this message in time and could not put himself in position to take over as the new leader. This time Lex has devised a plan that does not involve any relatives . He has however been forced to rehire a previous henchman - Crackhead Bob. Hopefully, Bob's addictions will not cause a problem, but rather assist. As a drug addict Bob has connections into some rather prestigious New York entertainment circles. Putting Bob's entertainment industry connections to work Lex plans to have his latest creation infiltrate the Saturday Night Live set on November 15th. Lex it would seem has developed his own achilles heal and her name is Lois Lane. Lex will need an unwitting accomplice to achieve his dominion over Superman and this time it will be none other than a busload of monkeys and a dingo (with the additional help of Crash Bandicoot supreme roadie).
From L to R: Dingo, Wookie, Kyle, Rob, Paul, Brian, Adam, Dean, and of course Crash Bandicoot
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