The following is a questionaire designed only for Jane's most devoted fans. Now, you have a chance to find out if you are indeed a fan of Jane's. Of course Jane has many friends, chums and mates, but how many are true fans? Complete the following questionaire, and find out if you are a fan, or just a friend.


Multiple Choice

1You are escorting Jane to an important function (bad art opening, or boring play, for instance). Jane has had a nip or two at the bottle before "coming out". She trips. What would you do?
a) slap her!
b) explain that she is not behaving in a ladylike manner.
c) help her up and give her another swig.

2At selfsame interminable function, when explaining the difference between surrealism and Dada, Jane mistakenly suggests that Tristan Tzara was NOT a communist.
a) tell her she's a dumb blonde.
b) suggest tactfully that perhaps she's gotten her facts wrong in this particular case.
c) congratulate Jane on her new discoveries in the history of aesthetics.

3Upon leaving selfsame unbearable function, Jane, in attempting to grab your waist for some much needed support, mistakenly opens your fly. You immediately
a) zip up and leave.
b) gently place her mistaken hand upon your waist and zip up your fly.
c) offer yourself for her perusal.

(If you answer has been C, to the above questions, then you are ready for the special skill testing essay portion of this questionaire. Only those trueblue fans of Jane can expect to qualify)


Final Special Skill Testing Essay

Speaking hypothetically about celebrities in general, do you think it wise that they offer themselves body and soul to the "little people"? (Please note that this question refers only to the metaphoric aspect of "little" as in "common" or even perhaps "lowly". "Little", in this instance, has, of course, nothing to do with any aspect of "dimension") Please answer in the space provided:

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